For reasons I still can't quite put my finger on, I was literally terrified of starting work today. I was scared, plain and simple, and I felt ready to bolt. Walking into the building this morning, I haven't felt that kind of dread in a long time. Ever since Friday, when I scheduled my first shift, I have been praying to God constantly for courage and strength to at least give this a chance.
I won't sit here and say that everything is all picture perfect and all of my fears were completely irrational. It will be hard in the beginning until I get used to life at the ARK; even after I've come to the point where I'm comfortable and situated, I will still have days when I will wonder what I'm doing in this place. However, for now at least, I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. Now the excitement and fear are at least in equal proportions, with excitement most likely taking up the lead.
Today I only had three kids, all of whom are very easy to be around; I had a very easy first day. It won't last. Perhaps God in all of His awesome wisdom knew that I needed an easy first day; if it had been nightmare-ish heaven knows there's a good chance I would've made a run for it! Anyhow, I survived the day with nothing to complain about save for a bit of a headache. I also learned two really fun cardgames!
I have no idea where this place will take me, or how this is going to fit into my ever-increasingly over scheduled life. But God is telling me to make room, so make room I will. More to come......
This is the ARK's building, rented from Hackett Catholic High School, near the corner of Westnedge and Kilgore. They actually only use the bottom floor.
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